The World of YS, Take Three: God is funny like that

How crazy is this, I am back at Youth Specialties. Starting January 1st I came back full time to lead YS. God must have some kind of sense of humor and once again I am made aware that I can never really predict what God is going to do next in my life. Who saw this coming…… I know I didn’t. I thought my time with YS had ended but obviously God had other ideas. This may take a while but let me unfold this Journey. As some of you know and as I have blogged, at the end of this past July I left YS after 32 years. If you are interested you can read about my thoughts and feelings on this on my previous posts. I spent most of August backpacking and starting the process of shaking free of  YS and trying to see what my post YS life might look like.I had given myself a three month Sabbatical to rest and recharge before starting to look for work again. I needed some time to try and discern what God might be writing in the next chapter of my life. My Sabbatical was scheduled to end October 31.

I was at a friends condo with my wife in the Colorado Mountains in early October when Marko called and told me that YS was going to be sold. He then asked if I would be interested in coming back to run the conventions again (so much for my plans of 3 months away before I really started thinking about work again). This of course was all very hush, hush. As you might guess this started me spinning a bit. YS being sold and me returning to YS were not any part of my thinking. It was a total left turn. Things got even stranger after that, Marko was let go by Zondervan and all kinds of drama abounded. All my friends at YS who in January 09 were put through an emotional ringer when 12 of us were let go from YS once again found themselves in a very difficult place wondering what was going on. Was the sale really going to happen? When was the sale going to happen? What would it all mean? My heart really hurt for them. So that kind of ended the conversations of my returning to YS other than the occasional rumor that the perspective new owners wanted to talk to me. Meanwhile I was having some pretty exciting conversations with people about what to do next. These conversations were moving along and I was pretty pumped but I could not totally shake “the whole YS thing” . Too many friends were involved in the YS situation so there were always conversations about what was and what might be going on at YS.

Sometime before the Atlanta NYWC I had lunch with Paul Bertelson the President of YouthWorks who was the one trying to buy YS. We spent a great couple hours together. I felt really good about the possible new home for YS. I got an understanding of why they wanted to buy YS, got a feel for his heart. We talked a bunch about YS including some possibilities of involvement on my part if the sale went through. That was pretty much the last I heard from Paul or anyone at YouthWorks as they were consumed with trying to do this deal. At the Atlanta NYWC the intended sale of YS went public (actually by that time it was one of the worse kept secrets in the youth ministry world). I never heard back again from Paul so I was thinking they wanted to move in another direction. My conversations with the others I was talking with heated up and I was pretty sure I would know before the first of the year what I would do next.  The week of December 14 Paul called and said they were coming out to the YS offices and wanted to meet for breakfast Thursday morning. Paul, John Potts (the YouthWorks COO) and I met for breakfast. The sale of YS finally closed the day before. We talked for a couple hours and our time ended with them inviting me to come back and lead YS. Holy Guacamole, Whodathunk this!

I had a lot to think about. The other things I was looking at were very exciting and a couple opportunities had firmed up. They were with people I really liked and one with people I loved. They were all involved in youth ministry which is my passion so I was getting excited. What the heck was God up to? December 21 I spent the day in Minneapolis at YouthWorks headquarters. I know Minneapolis in December, right.  December 27 after much prayer, reflection and sorting I said yes to return to YS. There are many reasons why I am returning, here are a couple of them:

I kind of fell for YouthWorks. I have been touched deeply by their humility, grace, sense of following God in this whole process, their calling to youth ministry and the grounding of their faith in justice, simplicity, generosity and caring for others. When I met with Paul I ask him why the heck would a youth missions organization want to buy YS? What I learned is that YouthWorks was not a youth missions organization but that youth missions is just one expression of who the are even though it is the most well known and largest expression. Let me tell a bit of their and Pauls story. Paul was a youth pastor at a large and well resourced church in Minneapolis. He thought all churches were like that as he had only been involved in a couple. As he got to know other youth workers in his area he realized that was not the case and in fact many folks we tying to do youth ministry with little or no training or resources. So he decided to just share his resources and started opening his youth ministry up to others. They would do concerts, retreats, camps, leader training even mission trips together. Eventually his church said um…ah…. Paul this is all very cool but it is not the mission of our church (I’m just guessing here but I think liability issues may have played a role in this). They encouraged and help him (very cool) to start a non profit organization to help train, encourage and resource youth workers. So YouthWorks was started.

It just so happened that helping youth groups do mission trips was the part that took off, so away they went. Years later YouthWorks board and leadership team felt they we not fullfilling their calling just focusing on doing mission trips, as important and successful as they were. They were formed to help youth workers and it was time to continue to take more steps in that direction. In 2002 they talked to Mike and Karla Yaconelli about purchasing YS. Paul and others LOVE YS and had been greatly impacted by the ministry of YS over the years. They had attended the YS conventions almost every year. They  had heard through the grapevine that Yac might want to sell it. Mike had be playing with the idea of selling YS a few different times and was VERY close to doing it twice. I remember when the YouthWorks folks came out. They had great conversations with the Yaconelli’s but for whatever reason the timing was just not right. They parted friends and kept in relationship. Their interest in YS never really died. This last fall found them in conversations with Z about bringing YS into the YouthWorks family.

YS is now part of an expanding family of ministries that will work side by side. Each will focus on their specific calling to help the church be the church.

I love that they are a non profit and that they measure their success on Kingdom impact. They know how to do the business side really well but that serves the ministry side not the other way around. I really like that turning a buck is not the main thing here. They are all about stewardship of what God has given them. Here is a really cool thing. They give away a million dollars a year to projects and ministries in the communities where they do the mission trips. That really blew me away. So here is the funny thing, as a non profit they are very profitable but they give that profit away in Kingdom work.

When I came to their offices I cracked up because they are ….um….ah…..kind of dumpy. They are in an old Coke bottling plant. Their thinking is simple. They had the money to build a big fancy office but doing that would mean they would have less money to give away. They remember that the money that comes their way came from youth groups around the country who did fund raisers to pay for their missions trips. They remember that they are serving the poor all over the country. A big fancy building flies in the face of that….Nice.

They love youth workers. They see them all summer long. They have a heart for the small churches as well as the big churches. They hang out all summer with the adult volunteer who brought 5 kids from a small church with no paid youth pastor. They want to serve that person as well as the full time paid youth pastor from thriving youth ministries….they get it……they get youth workers…I like that.

OK so that is some of why I fell for YouthWorks as a great home for YS and a great place for me to serve. Oh yeah one more thing. They are keeping the El Cajon office. Minnesota in the winter, Dude.

I still get to serve youth workers. It became clear to me in my time away that youth ministry is where I wanted to stay. Youth ministry is where God has called me. I tried to think about other things to do and places to serve but nothing excited me as much as youth ministry. I guess I am just a lifer. We are a quirky bunch, we may be a sick and twisted group but it’s home.

I get to work with the YS Staff and family again. This was really big to me. I love the YS staff, they are awesome. With some of them it is a chance to continue doing together what we love doing together. For others it’s a chance to do something new. Like in the case of Mark Matlock. We were so excited to get to work together and had all kinds of dreams but never really did get a chance, now we can…way fun

Lastly I am just a YS guy. It’s in my DNA. I blogged it was going to be painful to no longer be able to say “Hi I’m Tic from YS” . I can’t believe I get to say that again. I Love YS. I love that we are all about youth workers and youth ministry. I love the way YS has served them over the years. I love our love our playful irreverence, our commitment to the church. I love that we care for the Youth Workers soul and want to help them walk deeply with Jesus. I love that we feel there is no ministry more important or more rewarding than working with students.In the end I just could not say no to YS

Now I am back. I never even considered this as an option but that is where God comes in. God seems to like to do goofy stuff, likes to do the unexpected. God is funny like that

The World of YS, Part Deux: SAD, BAD and BUT

After having several conversations about YS over the past couple weeks I thought I would write a little more to clarify my thoughts for those few of  you who are interested. It’s funny how the words SAD and BAD sound a lot alike and can easily be mistaken for each other. In my last post I talked about how SAD I was about Zondervan breaking up YS and selling it, how it felt like the end of an era. Yes I am SAD, BUT  I don’t think Z selling YS is a BAD thing. In fact, I am kind of excited about it,. First let me speak to why breaking apart the publishing from YS makes me sad.

1. YS started with books. For YS, it may not have been “in the beginning was the Word” but it was in the beginning of YS there were  words. Words in the form of the ideas books. Words that came not only from YS but from youth workers all over the country to create extremely practical books to help adults work more effectively with teenagers.  Books to help make youth groups more fun and attractive to students and to help adults communicate the gospel more effectively. YS started with a vision of creating books that would impact youth ministry. In my 3rd or 4th year at YS I suggested that maybe YS not do books anymore…..I thought Mike and Wayne’s heads would explode. I’m lucky I lived through it.,

2. I loved that YS equipped youth workers and influenced youth ministry through it’s publishing. I loved that it was about way more than just books by Mike Yaconelli and Wayne Rice. We gave Chap Clark, Doug Fields, Duffy Robbins, Les Christie, Kara Powell, Walt Muller, Rich Van Pelt, Ginny Olsen, Marv Penner, Jeanne Stevens, just to name a few, a platform to share what God had laid on their hearts for youth workers. I loved that we had all kinds of books from practical “how to” books to theological, cultural, academic and books for youth workers own souls. YS helped lots of people with its publishing. I know it’s hard to believe, but there was a time when there were almost no books on youth ministry and YS responded to that void.

3. I just like books. I have been shaped professionally, personally and spiritually by books. I must admit however that I am that person who buys more books than I actually get around to reading. I must think that if I have enough good books around me I will somehow get smarter BUT still I love books and always will.

4. Lastly, there was a synergy  that existed between publishing and live events. When writers spoke and speakers wrote something special happened. When you got to meet and hear someone whose books you had read and had been influenced by, it was fun. The interaction between the two usually (but not always) made both better. Having publishing and live events gave YS an amazing opportunity to interact with and influence youth workers. Neither publishing or events could have had as much impact without the other.

That is why its is SAD to me that YS will no longer be publishing books in the same way it was. BUT, and it’s a big BUT, that does not mean it’s all BAD.

Speaking of BAD, let me add my 2 cents worth about Zondervan being the BAD guys in all this. They are not the BAD guys. Doug, Wayne and others have pointed this out and they are right. Z and YS had a good relationship for over 25 years before they bought YS. Z loved YS. Scott Bolinder and Doug Lockhart  (who are no longer at Z but who were the driving forces behind the purchase) had a strong sense of the mission of YS and great admiration for YS and it’s staff. Z had great hopes for YS, BUT it just didn’t work. YS did not perform well while Z was it’s owner. There are a lot of reasons for that, BUT not all of them were on Z’s side of the table by any measure. When you run something, be it a local youth ministry or a big company you have to make decisions. You never really know if those decisions are right till you see them in the rearview mirror and you can be sure not everyone is going to agree with your decisions but you do your best. I would not have made the same decisions that Z made but that’s not the point, they were their decisions to make, they owned the company. All this to say Z isn’t evil or anything like that. In the end, it was just not a good fit. It just didn’t work and we don’t really need to make up a villain for this story. Z could have could have just let YS die but instead they are giving YS a chance to move forward in a new home. For most of us who have been let go by Z, even though we didn’t like being let go and disagree with their reasons, they have treated us fairly in our dismissal.  In the end, I don’t think Z really “got” YS or youth workers. Our cultures were just too different. Lets face it youth workers are a quirky bunch. Lots of the time we don’t even get ourselves. No one outside our world can fathom the idea of being locked in a church overnight with a bunch of middle school kids voluntarily!  Publishing companies see  Youth ministry as a “market”  but actually it is much more of  a fraternity or a brotherhood, a calling, a mission or just a bunch of goofballs who just love students. I don’t think they really ever got their arms around that. Z is not alone in not entirely getting youth ministry and youth workers. If you are a youth worker my guess is many, if not most, of the people in your church don’t really get you or your ministry.  They still ask you if you have any adult friends or when are you going to get a “real job”. That does not make them bad people, just not part of our tribe. Sometimes I think we are like that Groucho Marx quote where he says he would never want to join any club that would allow him in as a member.

Lastly I would like to comment on even though this really is the end of the YS I helped create and am SAD about that, it may be more than not BAD, it  may be the best thing for YS. No one loves YS more than me, BUT it wasn’t working with Zondervan! Hello….. This sale gives YS a chance to reinvent itself and that is why I have some excitement. I know there are no guarantees this will happen, but there is a real chance a very exciting YS could emerge from this. Maybe a YS that is close to the beginning vision of YS which was to unashamedly  love and serve youth workers. Maybe a YS that you would love as much or more than the old YS will emerge. I know maybe that is a stretch but that’s my hope and I hope yours as well. Will they be able to pull it off? I don’t know as I have not had any conversations with the new owners (I should say potential owners as it is not a done deal yet) but I know who they are and as I said before they are good people. Several of my friends have had conversations with them over the last week and came away with a sense that they were humble, genuine, love YS and feel called by God to make this move and that is a great place to start. Could they screw it up? Of course they can screw it up BUT that does not mean they will. Who knows who they might gather together in their ownership of YS or what their dreams are for it. It may be BAD, BUT it may be awesome and that would not be SAD. Believe me, I know they are taking a big risk but I’m praying for them as they seek to take on YS and I hope you do as well. I sure like the youth ministry world better with a healthy YS  in it’s midst.

The World of YS

As many of you know, the world of YS is crazy these days. Marko was let go, Z is splitting up the company and selling the events. I have decided to hold my thoughts a little longer. I know this is not like me as often I am a Fire, Ready, Aim kind of guy. All I will say at the moment is that I am extremely sad. The YS I gave my adult life to will be no more. I know this is not the end of YS, there will still be good resources published by Z. The new owners (who I can’t name yet but are good people involved in youth ministry) will still create really good conventions. It’s just that the YS I loved, the one I shared with Yac, Wayne and others and which has been fading over the last few years will be no more and to me that is sad. Life goes on, ministry goes on, God is good. I am sad to see it end but it’s my prayer that something new and exciting can result from all this and that is just the kind of thing God does.

I like being empty headed

So I had the opportunity to spend a bunch of time backpacking this summer with three very close friends. Actually, on one big adventure, I was in the Wind Rivers range and Grand Teton’s in Wyoming as well as the Beartooth range in Montana. All of those places were  incredibly  beautiful. As you would guess there were many days without email, websites, phone calls, CD’s, DVD’s, TV, movies, ipods,radios, billboards,newspapers, magazines…..I think you get the picture. I was without any unwanted or unnecessary  stimulation. All I had was good conversation with close friends, natural beauty everywhere I looked and quiet, lots of quiet. Over my time there and especially when I got back I realized  how little time I have alone with my thoughts and even more than that how much my mind is filled with the thoughts, ideas and images of others. Some of those thoughts, ideas and images are invited in but most are not, they are just the byproduct of my lifestyle and the world I live in. My head has become a very crowded and busy place. What I found on my trip was that in the absence of all that noise and stimulation my heart, mind and soul had space to make themselves known. I even sensed God in a different, almost casual way because there was space and time (and I think because I was in his backyard). Once my head was emptied it refilled at a leisurely pace and in a less frenzied manner. Half thoughts were allowed to wander around inside my head till they became whole. They were on a nice walk, not a sprint. Emotions that had been buried or neglected were allowed to surface. Unfinished personal business got some needed attention. But all these things happened slowly, casually and sometimes unexpectedly. It was like letting my mind out for recess in grade school. It was allowed to play with no real direction or maybe like nap time in kindergarten, a time for rest even when I didn’t know I needed it.

Let me give you an example. On the fifth day in the Beartooths we were hiking and as we often did we were spread out on the trail. It was not uncommon to walk alone for 30-45 minutes at a time before we got back together to rest or eat or to try and figure out where the heck the trail went. We had been hiking like that for about 45 minutes when we stopped for a photo. When my friend John walked up there were tears streaming down his face. When we asked him what was going on he said “I have been grieving for Isaac”. “I have not grieved for Isaac for over twenty years, he would be 25 now”. Twenty Five years ago John and his wife lost their one year old son in an accident in their home. John’s “empty head” provided space for him to have a holy and tender moment, a needed moment for his soul and most likely a moment that would not have happened in his busy everyday life.

A couple other things happened. I found that I liked my thoughts. I don’t need  my mind to be bombarded all the time by others. It was nice to allow my incomplete and haphazard thoughts to work themselves out, to not have to “do anything” with them and just let them live  or die on their own. Some thoughts and ideas went away to never never land while others became part of me. I also found that I was well rested. Even though I was carrying a heavy pack and hiking my butt off I felt refreshed and so did my friends. I was physically trashed but emotionally and mentally refreshed. I wonder if that says something about the price we pay with our minds being so over stimulated?….Ya think!  Seems like it is more exhausting than we care to admit.

So I wonder why I don’t empty my head more. I know some of it is fear, fear of what might surface. Some of it may that I have lost the ability of how to do it or don’t really see the value any more. I’m not sure that being “empty headed”  from time to time is seen as being all that productive. I didn’t come out from the mountains with new marching orders from God or an incredible new vision. My guess is most of the time we don’t come out with answers and amazing new insights but we might come out more spiritually receptive. We might come our with space in our heart for others and we might come out more human.

So I hope I don’t leave what I learned on the trail. I do know I don’t have to go to the mountains to get “empty headed” but I do have to make an effort. I won’t get “empty headed” by chance. I will have to figure out how to do that. I hope I am a little closer to becoming “empty headed” more often. I think I will like myself, others and this crazy world we live in better if I do.

Being Rich is Awesome

I love watching the classic Christmas movies like Apocalypse Now, Blade Runner and Saw III, but  as uplifting and full of merriment as those are, I think my favorite has to be It’s a Wonderful Life with Jimmy Stewart.  I know, I’m a big wuss. I can’t help it. I just love that movie and even though I have seen it a couple dozen times, I still get a little emotional watching it. I love it when Clarence the angel says, “You see George, you really have had a wonderful life”.  George Baily ends up being the richest man in town, not because of money or possessions, that of course would be Mr. Potter. George Baily was the richest man in town because of friendships. 

On July 18, I had a party at my house celebrating my years at YS, kind of a reunion of everybody I had worked with over the years. It was a fantastic evening and I was overwhelmed with the love and affection shown by so many friends. That night, and the weeks leading up to it with calls and emails, I was reminded that I am a rich man. I was reminded that I have been blessed with meaningful relationships, with lots of good friends. I am so thankful for the people God has placed in my life. Yes I am one rich dude!

It’s funny, most of us say relationships matter but live much of our lives like they don’t.  We spend way too much time  “being productive”, “planning”, ”strategizing” , “reaching goals”, trying to build our own little kingdoms, scrambling for power, position, wealth, recognition, whatever. We just get caught up. In the end, that stuff just doesn’t really matter as much as we think it does. It’s fool’s gold.  I am not saying what we do does not matter, of course it does.  I want to do everything with excellence, I want to give my best to my job or calling, I’m just saying often we give too much and we pay a price for that.  We KNOW what Jesus says about loving our neighbor. We KNOW, amazingly enough, that Jesus calls us his friends. We KNOW relationships matter to God, yet somehow we get sidetracked and focus on other things. 

During the past election we kept hearing the phrase “it’s the economy, stupid” to remind us what some people thought was the only real issue in the election, the only thing worth paying attention to and talking  about.  Maybe we need to start saying “It’s people, stupid”. People are what matter….pay attention.

One of the unexpected benefits of  losing my job at YS, is that I have been so powerfully reminded of  just how rich I am. How blessed I am with friends. But I am also aware that I was forgetting that. As I look at my last few years at YS, I am aware of how I was letting relationships go fallow. I was not giving my relationships at YS (and other places) the attention they deserved . I was too “on task” . I was trying to “get things done”.  I was spending way too much time in front of my computer and not enough time face to face with the people I cared about. Work was drowning out friendships and if I am honest with myself, I was not as happy, not as fulfilled …I was getting too caught up. In the rear-view mirror I see it a little more clearly.

I guess what I am realizing in a new way, is just how easy it is to take relationships for granted, assuming  they will just happen. I’m amazed at how easily I can focus instead on the fool’s gold. If friendships truly make us wealthy, and I believe they do, I want to get rich, filthy rich, obscenely rich. This is the kind of prosperity gospel I can get behind.

PS I will be backpacking and joyfully away from my computer till August 23

Of Grief and Gratitude

It was around midnight almost six years ago when Karla Yaconelli called to tell us that Mike had been in a horrible car accident.  A few hours later she called again with the numbing news that Mike was dead. We were in shock to say the least. This could not be true!  I had worked with Yac for over 26 years and he was one of my closest friends. Terrie and I lay in bed holding each other, talking, crying (you know, the kind of chest heaving, snot running down your face, hot tears on your cheeks kind of crying)…..our grief  instantaneous and searing.

Then the strangest thing happened, we started to laugh. We would think of some goofy thing Yac had done in the past and we would start giggling right in the midst of our tears. This went on for a couple of hours, periods of deep sobbing interrupted by surprising outbreaks of healing laughter which after a while moved us to gratitude. We were face to face with the reality of how grateful we were for the years we did have with Yac. Gratitude for how much richer our lives were because we knew Mike. Gratitude for how the love of Jesus had a greater grasp on us because of this wild-man. Gratitude for just how much darn fun we had together.

There was grief to be sure; in fact it was easily the most pain I had ever experienced in my life but gratitude just kept showing up and it changed us. It was powerful, it changed our perspective, it saved the day. It was like this unexpected and uninvited guest who would not allow grief to stand alone, not allow grief to be the only emotion in our life, not allow grief to drag us into despair. It did not replace or remove grief but would accompany it. It was a gift of the Spirit. And it stayed with us day after day after day. It seemed so strange to me that those two emotions could be so closely aligned. Even now when I think back on those days I am so aware of the presence of this odd couple, the unexpected companions who walked beside us through those dark days. The grief eventually went away but the gratitude never has and in fact it has grown stronger over time.  As I think about Yac today I am so very thankful for what we shared together.

Now as I am leaving YS I find them both back in my life again and I’m so glad they are. Yes I’m grieving leaving YS in a big way, it’s been my life’s work but just like in Yacs death, gratitude has shown up again unexpectedly (I know I’m a slow learner) and powerfully.  I am so grateful for what an amazing run it has been at YS. I am overwhelmed that God has allowed me to serve, train and encourage youth workers for 32 years, way more than I could have ever hope for and certainly more than I deserve. I have been so blessed!

So here is the deal. The grief means it has been great. The grief means it mattered. We don’t grieve things we don’t care about. Would I really want it any other way? I’m glad I am grieving. I’m grieving because it has been so freaking awesome!  It would so suck to leave YS after all this time and not have it hurt, to not care. But once again the gratitude has allowed me to not be overwhelmed by the pain and disappointment. In fact, in a mysterious way it allows me to embrace my pain and work through it instead of trying to deny it. In a way, it gives grief its proper place now so it will leave later. So once again I have these two uninvited guests taking up residence in my life, guests for which I am thankful.  In time, only one will remain and for that I’m grateful.

We get to Choose

It seems like a lot of life comes to us or even at us, often leaving us with the feeling that we have no choice in the matter. Sometimes it’s little things like our kid gets on a lousy little league team, the restaurant runs out of the special of the day that sounded so good to us, some car wreck in front of us brings traffic to a crawl or a storm comes in and rains out our plans for a big day outdoors. We didn’t do anything to cause these things, they just happened to us. Other times however it’s big things, difficult things, painful things, things that can alter the course of our life. A loved one gets cancer, our pastor gets caught in an affair and our church is a mess, our child has a learning disability that makes school way too difficult and painful, or in my case your job comes to an end. It wasn’t my choice to leave YS, the choice was made for me. I wasn’t the only one involved in the “downsizing” but I had no say in the decision and in a sense it was done “to me”. Of course nothing is really that clear cut in real life. Very seldom are things completely one way or another. Seldom are any of us completely innocent or without any responsibility in a situation but we can still be left with a feeling or a sense that something was done to us and we had no choice. But of course that is not true. We always have a choice. WE ALWAYS GET TO CHOOSE! This was not how I envisioned leaving YS, this was not the time I would have chosen to leave YS but I do have a choice in HOW I leave YS. I get to choose my response. We all get to choose how we respond to something that comes our way. We get to choose our response and in the end that may be the most important choice of all.

In the difficult “big things” that come our way there are many questions that flood our minds and emotions. You know the “why”, “how”, “what”, “who” and “where” type of questions. Some questions come at you like waves on the beach one after the other while others you hunt down, sometimes in hot pursuit of them. For me I have found chasing the “why” question to be the least productive and in fact actually a waste of time. Do we ever get an answer to that question that is truly satisfying? I don’t think so and at least for me it often ends up an exercise in self -justification, self-pity or blame placing. Not a very healthy place to take up residence and not a place where I find God hanging out much. For me there are other questions that are much more powerful, much more life giving and more God finding. The “what”, “how”, “who” and “where” questions area much better place to live in. Chasing down answers to these questions are allowing me to leave the way I want to leave.  I want to leave with integrity, grace and gratitude so these are the questions I am choosing to ask myself these days to help me stay that course:

What is God trying to teach me in this? 

What do I need to lean about my myself?

What is going to be revealed in me?

What if all that God has taught me to this point has been preparing me for what  is next?  

How can I respond to this situation with integrity, grace and faithfulness? 

How can I find God in this? Can I embrace that God is in the midst of this? Can I remember that it was God who brought me to YS so can’t it be that God is leading me away from YS?   

How can I be anything but grateful for the wild and exiting ride it has been at YS? 

How can I be anything but thankful that God has allowed me to minister to youth workers for 32 years? 

Who am I going to become in this process?  

Who is God bringing into my life right now and for what purpose?  

Who can speak truth into my life that I need to listen to?          

Where am I placing my trust?   

Where am I finding my identity?   

Where am I going to serve next and can I embrace this as an adventure with God?

These are the questions that bring me life, hope and faith these days. My guess is that in a difficult situation you might be facing it is questions like these that will bring light to dark places. Remember we get to choose our response. It is never helpful to play the victim, to think we have no choice in a situation. That posture gets us nowhere and in my case is an act of faithlessness. It is saying that what I am going through is outside Gods control. It’s denying, as crazy as it may seem, that God may just be in this after all. This does not mean denying the real pain of a situation or acting like it is all no big deal or playing some “happy Christian” game.  It’s just the opposite, choosing these responses and ones like them allow us to embrace our pain and grow through it.  My leaving YS is incredibly painful for me and I have been on an emotional roller coaster and imagine I will for a while. I don’t try to deny that.  But, and it’s a big But, it’s not the end of the story. I get to choose how to respond to what God has put in front of me and to embrace the adventure. To me it’s all about the journey and we get to choose how to embrace that journey and that is a pretty awesome thing.

Small is Beautiful

So we do this BIG student event called DCLA, the name comes from the cites in which the event in held. It is a BIG event!  It has some BIG names, is held in BIG convention centers, has BIG sound and BIG lights, with BIG video and BIG graphics.  It’s BIG time, get it. We just finished LA and next week do DC. One of the things I do at the event is to run what we call “Youth Worker Oasis”. It is a time for adult leaders to get away for their students and chill for an hour or so.  I get the privilege of chatting with lots of leaders and in doing so I began to realize that sometimes these BIG events can make these youth leaders feel small. They may only have 5, 10 or 20 kids in their youth group and compared to what is going on at DCLA it doesn’t feel like much. At DCLA there are BIG time speakers and BIG time artist who are so much “better” than they are and they start to feel small or worse yet insignificant. Nothing could be further from the truth!

BIG events don’t really change students. God uses loving “small time” adults who leave these places with their students and do beatiful small things back at home that really make the BIG difference in the lives of students.

It is a small thing to sit for hours with a student and help them sort out their feelings and thoughts about God, family, friends….life. It’s a small thing to stay up all night at a lock-in to build the relationship and trust with a middle schooler that leads to meaningful conversations when they are ready to talk. It’s a small thing to listen to a students dream. It’s a small thing to speak truth into a students life about God’s dream for him or her. It’s a small thing to pray day after day for one students relationship with Jesus, to pray for their hurts, to pray for healing, to pray for their family that is falling apart or to pray for the destructive relationship they find themselves in. It’s a small thing to have a small group of students meet  in your home week after week. It’s a small (and sometimes painful) thing to go to a middle school band concert, a freshman basketball game or a school play. It’s a small thing to listen. It’s a small thing to give a kid a hug, a smile, a welcome, or is it?

Compared to the BIG time speakers and BIG time artist these things seem so small. You know where I’m going with this, these are not small at all but in fact are HUGE, they are the things that matter the most. These things are the beautiful things God uses to change lives. All the BIG stuff we do at events is to set up youth workers to have more opportunities to do the “small” things. The real stars of events like DCLA are the people who came with the students and will leave with them. The ones who will be there when no one is looking, when the lights are no longer shinning brightly and all the music has faded. Our real job at BIG events is to set up these youth workers for doing what they can do best, speak knowingly into the life of a student that they have established a relationship with, to guide, Shepherd and disciple those students.

I love BIG events and God uses them in mighty ways but almost always over time those ways involve the small beautiful things done by caring adults. To all you folks who come to DCLA take heart in the Kingdom of God you are ROCK STARS because in Gods kingdom SMALL IS BEAUTIFUL

Everybody needs a second home

So I Got an email today that was like many of the calls and letters I have received over the years from youth workers telling me how much the National Youth Workers Convention means to them and how much they love it.  I love getting those emails, call and letters.  This email expressed a common theme and that was that this person didn’t feel they could continue in youth ministry without the convention. I have heard this time and time again. This sentiment along with others like those saying they were ready to quit when they arrived at the convention and how their vision and calling were restored there come in all the time. Why does this happen? How does this happen? How can such a short period of time have such a profound impact? I’ve come to believe that for many people that place has become home. A healthy home is a place where we feel understood. Where we feel safe, where we are affirmed and valued. A home is a place where people get us, get who we are and what we are about. It’s from our “home” that we venture out into the world.

We all have a home as in the house where we live and that place may or may not be a home in the way I just described. For the people where that place is less than they desire, those people need to find a “second home”. Their primary home may be god but it is just not enough to sustain them in this crazy demanding world. For most Christians their local church or ministry becomes their “second home”. It may be the church as a whole or it may be a subset of the church. Maybe it’s a home group, accountability group, a ministry or mission team but it has become “home” to them. But for folks who lead churches and ministry it often doesn’t work that way. At church or in their ministry they often feel judged, misunderstood and disconnected. So where do they find their “second home”? I think that is where the National Youth Workers Convention and other events, gatherings and experiences come into play. Here is what I have heard people say about our convention: “we circle the date on our calendar and count the days still we will be renewed and refreshed”, “only 4 more months till someone will tell us we are doing a good job”, “only 3 months till we are told that what we do really matters and that we are making a difference”, “only 2 months till someone will tell us that all our sacrifices are worth It”,” Only a month till our calling gets affirmed”, “Only two weeks till I will be with people who get me. “Only one more week then I will be with my type of people”, “At last I’m with people who know that this is a real job”. When I hear these statements I hear people who are longing for a “second home”.

If you are in ministry or even if you are not most of us need to find a “second home” to survive. We must all find place where we are loved and valued for who you are not for how well we perform at our jobs. We all need a place where we can relax emotionally, spiritually and relationally, a place where we don’t have to be “on”. It’s out of a healthy home that we flourish and for some of us that means finding the right “Second home”. House hunting is not easy but after all as Dorothy taught us, there is no place like home, even a “Second home”.

Living into the mission of God

So at YS we are in our season for doing our two DCLA student events. This time we themed DCLA “Living into the mission of God”.  I love that whole idea. The idea that God is actively about redeeming and restoring his creation and if fact has always has been and always will be till in his time he reestablishes his kingdom on earth like he foretells in scripture . Too often we think, especially as Americans, that we have to do something for God. We need to come up with a great campaign or a new and exciting evangelism tool. We have to start a new movement. We act like God isn’t doing anything. That God  is on the sideline hoping we will come up with something to save the day. We are so busy creating, developing, selling and marketing the kingdom of God that in all our activity, our programs, our strategizing  we miss what God is actually doing and in fact all too often miss God completely. We have our heads down going full speed and we don’t stop long enough to see what God is doing and join in. We don’t even know where to look. We assume it’s always in some church sponsored program and miss what God might be doing outside those walls.  Part of this is our addiction to doing of which I am a total addict. We have lost the ability to stop, to listen, to discern. We love activity, we love new and we love programs and campaigns.

In our learning labs at DCLA this year we flesh out a bit of what it means to join in the mission of God with “Be.Love.Serve.Repeat.” It’s not a program; our approach is helping students take on the attitude of Jesus in loving and the lifestyle of Jesus in serving. It’s not serving as an activity, like a service project but becoming servants. However it all starts with being. It starts with understanding our identity in God, our beingness if you will. Understanding that the truest thing about us is what God says about us. That is where my personal struggle lies.  I am trying to find my identity, to find out what is true about me and who I am by doing. Way too often I’m doing instead of  being and I miss God. I don’t hear the still small voice, I don’t create a thin space where I can connect with God and I wonder why I’m not content. To me that is my and I think one of our biggest challenges in being the church. Unless we learn how to be we will continually miss what God is up to.  I want to live into what God is about and for me that means slowing down, creating time and space for God just to be God in my life. God does not need me to do something for him, he needs me to be his and when I am I will be able to be me and that me won’t miss what he is about in this world